What were they thinking? (Part 2)

As promised, here are some more things I discovered about youth group in the 1970s!

2) Being "PC" was obviously not something anyone was concerned about yet:

COMBINED GIRL WEIGHT GUESS: Choose three boys and send them out of the room. Ask the girls (three) for their weights. Add them, and tell audience total. Then bring the guys back into the room, and ask them to guess the total weight of the three girls. Each one guesses, and the one who is closest to the total wins prize; losers get a penalty.

I have a feeling this game would never fly in today's weight-obsessed culture with eating disorders abounding! Besides, isn't there some kind of unspoken rule that you never ask a lady how much she weighs?

THE SIT DOWN GAME: 1. Ask the entire audience to stand. 2. Instruct them to sit down when the "if" characteristic applies to them and remain seated. 3. Encourage them to be as honest as possible. 4. If you have trouble because most are not sitting down, then give some general characteristics, such as: a. Sit down if you are under 15 (over 18, etc.). b. Sit down if you have on white socks. c. Sit down if you are in love.

OK, first of all I have to say that I did play this game in youth group. But we were given things like, "Sit down if you are wearing jeans; if you have brown hair; if you've never had a cavity" -- things like that. They do have some normal suggestions like that in here, but get a load of some of the things they also suggest for this game!

SIT DOWN IF:

You kiss with your eyes open
You went to the drive-in this weekend but didn't see the movie
You dated a loser this past weekend
You haven't taken a bath in a week
You kiss sloppy
You have a pimple on your nose
You are ugly
Your nose is crooked
You read this month's issue of Playboy
You believe in necking on the first date
You believe in necking before the first date
You still suck your thumb
You wear "baby doll" pajamas
You have dandruff
The person in front of you has dandruff
You walk funny
You weigh over 200 pounds
You are going steady, but wish you weren't
You have ever "two-timed" your girlfriend or boyfriend
You are cross-eyed
Your mother dresses you
You have never been kissed
The person in front of you smells
You are on a diet
You aren't on a diet but should be
You aren't on a diet, but the person next to you should be
You are really good looking

Can you seriously even BELIEVE some of these? My word, times have changed! If a youth pastor played a game where he said stuff like this today, he could probably be sued for something-or-other!

3) Youth pastors in the '70s must not have been too concerned about liability issues:

EXCEDRIN WAMP: Have each boy (4 to 6 -- or as many as 100 to 300) put a paper bag loosely over his head down to his ears. Each boy has a rolled newspaper. The object is to knock the other guy's hat off without losing one's own. No one is allowed to hold his hat on.



Yes, let's set a bunch of teenaged boys loose with paper bags over their heads and rolled-up newspapers, giving them permission to whack each other aggressively over and over. Imagine the fun -- especially if there are several hundred of them!

STABBING DUEL: Have two boys tie left wrists together. Each takes a banana in his right hand. The object is to one-handedly peel the banana and stab the other boy in the face. The first to do so is the winner.

Unfortunately, there was no picture accompanying this description. Maybe a picture of a boy with a banana sticking out of one eye wouldn't have made it past the editors of the book. By the way, do you notice how they left the girls out of these particular games?

PASS IT ON: The entire group forms a circle. Everyone is given an object which can be large, small or any shape (such as a bowling ball, a trash can, a shoe, etc.). On a signal, everyone passes his object to the person on the right, keeping the objects moving at all times. When a person drops any object, he must leave the game, but his object remains in. As the game progresses, more people leave the game, making it harder and harder to avoid dropping an object since there are more objects than people very soon. The winner is the last person(s) to "drop" out.

Yes, because passing a bowling ball or other heavy object around quickly in a circle will surely NOT end with said bowling ball or other heavy object being dropped on someone's toes.

4) I can't think of a sentence to describe this next game...let's just say it's somewhat lacking in spiritual discernment.

PLATE HYPNOTISM: Explain to audience that you have had some experience (in college) with hypnotism. Ask for volunteers, "Who will try hard to be hypnotized?" Give them a plate full of magic hypnotic power which they hold in front of them with one hand and you do the same. Then the volunteer does everything you do while looking you straight in the eyes. You rub finger in top of plate and rub between eyes over and over. Then rub edges and finally the bottom of the plate and rub between eyes. You have charred the bottom of the volunteer's plate with a match, so he rubs black soot on his eyes, unaware of what is going on. Work out a good solid routine for this and it is guaranteed to be a winner.


Guaranteed to be a winner! Unless the kids in your youth group go home and tell their parents that the youth pastor tried to hypnotize them.

5) And this game is just wrong on so many levels...

FUNNEL TRICK: Place a funnel in a boy's pants (in front). Have him tip his head back, then place a nickel on his forehead. The object is for him to drop the nickel into the funnel three times in succession. The third time, pour a cup of water into the funnel while his head is tipped back.



Mother: "Johnny, what did you do at youth group tonight?"

Johnny: "They stuck a funnel down the front of my pants and soaked me with cold water!"

(Even though in this picture it looks like the youth group kid is soaking the youth pastor -- which is slightly more disturbing.)
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Well, that ends our "blast from the past" look at one segment of 1970s youth group culture. Hope you enjoyed it! :-)

What were they thinking?

As the director of our church's library, I go through all of the books that are donated. We recently had a retired pastor donate his entire personal library: commentaries, Bible dictionaries, books on Christian living and theology and counseling; and then there were these two gems:

Wow, those covers alone just draw you in, don't they! Curious as to what it would have been like to attend a church youth group function in the mid-1970s, I began to thumb through the pages. Here are some interesting things I discovered (any italics in the quotes were added by me for emphasis):

1) Youth groups in the '70s offered plenty of wholesome activities for teenaged boys and girls, they of the raging hormones and conflicted emotions:

SQUIRM RACE: Place a volleyball (or ball of similar size) between the foreheads of a boy and a girl couple. Without using their hands, they must work the ball down to their knees and back up again. Their hands must be kept behind their backs and the two must start over if they drop the ball. Couples do not have to be of the opposite sex. Two guys or two girls will work fine but a boy-girl couple usually adds to the fun of this event.

Oh, yes...I can only imagine the fun, especially if your partner is the cute guy you've been eyeing across the pews!

GREAT SPAGHETTI RELAY: Divide the group into teams. Each person gets a potato chip (the larger, the better). Each team lines up, and the first person in line holds his potato chip in his mouth. A wet spaghetti noodle is then draped over the chip and the person must run to a set point and back without dropping the noodle or breaking the potato chip. On returning, he passes the noodle on to the next person, who does the same thing. The game continues, and the first team to finish is the winner. The rules: (1) No hands are allowed. (2) If the noodle drops off, breaks, or becomes mutilated, the player must return to the line, get a new noodle, and start all over.

This game must be especially exciting when you have the teams lined up boy-girl-boy-girl, as evidenced by this picture included with the game description:


Why does this guy remind me of Peter Parker from the 70s TV show "The Amazing Spiderman"? Must be the hair...

(Off-topic aside: I did not realize until doing a search for this picture that Nicholas Hammond, who played Peter Parker, also played one of the Von Trapp children, Friedrich, in The Sound of Music!)

ESKINOSE: Divide group into two teams, alternating by sex. First person has lipstick smear on his nose. Winning team is the one who can pass the lipstick the farthest in thirty seconds by Eskimo kissing (rubbing noses). Winners get Eskimo Pies.

See above picture again for an idea of what this game would have looked like in action!

And finally, we have...

JOHN-JOHN: This can be used for groups up to 500. Form a circle using everyone. Selected leaders start the game by running to a person of the opposite sex and yelling, "What's your name?" The person replies, "Linda." The leader looks behind himself and yells, "Linda-Linda...Linda-Linda-Linda" while doing a little dance similar to Mexican Hat Dance. The person (Linda in this case) falls in behind the leader, putting her hands on his waist, and together they run to the opposite side of the circle. This time they both do the above together. After they finish the little dance, Linda makes an about face. The leader does the same and grabs on to Linda's waist. The new person grabs on to the previous leader's waist. Now all three proceed to the opposite side of the circle with Linda leading. She would go to a boy. Each chain continues to get longer until everyone is chosen. There would be many chains and the object would be to keep from getting hit by the other chains.


Whoa there, guy in the stripey shirt...you're getting just a little bit too close for comfort to the young lady in the white mini-dress!

Stay tuned for more inappropriate youth group games from the 1970s!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Off-roading in a Minivan

So a few weeks ago, my sister Anna and my nephews, Ben and Aaron, were visiting us while Anna's husband Matt was in Mexico with their youth group. Matt dropped Anna and the boys off near our place on their way down south, and picked them up again on their way back up to Oregon. Well, we actually had to drive Anna and the boys to meet up with the group in Ione, a city about 45 minutes from Sacramento. At least, it was supposed to be only a 45-minute drive...

See, it all started when I printed out directions on how to get to Ione using some computer software I have. Having never been to Ione, I assumed it was giving me good directions. We were in a rented minivan with NO navigation system (something I never want to be without again), and the trip turned into a real comedy of errors.

So here we were: my brother Nate, my sister Anna, the two little boys and me, off to take a leisurely little drive to Ione. Ione is out in the country, by the way -- kind of the middle of nowhere. Keep that in mind as you read.

Our first mistake was missing a road we were supposed to turn on. We just kept going and going and going...and weren't seeing the road. Finally the road we were on spit us out onto the freeway, so we realized we must have missed it and backtracked until we saw it. We turned onto this road and soon discovered that what started as a road quickly turned into little more than a trail. The road got narrower and narrower and was soon just dirt instead of cement. All we saw for miles around was farmland and fences...no houses, no cars...nothing. We would round a bend or crest a hill and see nothing for miles but more of the same...and we had no cell phone reception!


Here's what we saw:








We debated about whether we should keep going, hoping we'd find a main road again, or whether we should just go back the way we came. We decided to press on. We finally did come to a main road, only to come to a place a little bit later where we weren't sure which way to go -- and chose what we later discovered was the wrong way: we ended up on yet ANOTHER out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere road with barely any signs of civilization around us. And this road was in WORSE condition than the first road -- we were bouncing over potholes and swerving to avoid big piles of gravel, backing up to avoid driving into ditches, carefully lining our wheels up with the ruts of previous travelers who'd managed to navigate the craziness...it was so bad it was funny! We were not just in the middle of nowhere -- we were in the MIDDLE of the middle of nowhere!

Anna started singing, "Five passengers set sail that day for a three-hour tour..." and we all laughed. "We should have brought Skipper and Gilligan!" I responded. (Those are my cats, for those of you who don't know!) Every time we got to the top of a hill and saw nothing more than miles of this same road stretching before us, we had to laugh -- it was just too crazy! Meanwhile, we knew that Matt was waiting for us and probably wondering what on earth had happened! We couldn't call him, because we had no cell reception.






FINALLY, we saw some farmhouses in the distance. We stopped at one to ask the way to Ione, because we didn't want to do any more minivan off-roading, thank you very much! When the farmer discovered which way we'd come, he was incredulous. "That seven-mile stretch of bad road? I've lived here for eight years and have only been on that road four times, and only when absolutely necessary!" He graciously gave us directions and we arrived in Ione about 2 1/2 hours after we'd left Sacramento -- I told Matt I'd just been trying to sneak in a little extra time with my sis! ;-)


I learned several things through this experience:


1) Either make sure you have a GPS system in your vehicle when headed to a new location, or get good directions from a local!


2) If you are stuck in a minivan, lost in the California countryside, make sure you have traveling companions by your side who can take it all in stride and laugh at it with you. It helps not having uptight, stressed-out passengers! Even though Anna was anxious to get to her husband after not seeing him for 10 days, she didn't get a bad attitude or blame me for getting lost, which I really appreciate! :-)


Hope you enjoyed the chronicle of our little adventure!

The Cow Train

My brother, Nate, and I were in Oregon on Labor Day, and we spent a few hours with my parents, my sister, Anna, and her two boys at a farm. My 2-year-old nephew Ben really enjoyed sitting on the old tractors and going down the inflatable slide with his Uncle Nate, ascending the climb-able hay pyramid with his mommy, and imitating the rooster in the barn. Then Anna and I decided it would be fun to take Ben on the “Cow Train” for an idyllic little tour of the cornfields and pumpkin patches before lunch. So we paid our $2.00 and settled in to enjoy the ride. Don’t we look happy?


That sense of joyful expectation soon gave way to a sense of “What in the world did we get ourselves into?!!!” and “How soon is this going to end?”

The way this “train” was constructed is there’s a guy on a four-wheeler type of vehicle pulling a chain of these little “cars” made out of plastic barrels with wheels attached, painted to look like cows. They did include seatbelts, which is a good thing, seeing as how….well, we’ll get to that in a moment. But the seats were not padded in any way, shape, or form, which was not a good thing, seeing as how…well, just keep reading.

The man driving this train (I shall fondly refer to him as The Torture Master from here on out) either had to go to the bathroom really bad or he thought we were being chased by a swarm of angry wasps, because once all the victims, er, riders were in place, he tore off down the bumpy lane as if he were racing a cheetah! I think I caught a glimpse of some corn fields before the first turn, but I was bouncing around so much that it might have just been tall grass. Thank goodness for those seatbelts I mentioned earlier, or I’m sure Ben would have bounced right off of Anna’s lap and onto the side of the road! I’ll just say that it’s a good thing we decided to go before lunch and not after.

As we sped along, I noticed that the roads were very dry and dusty. I could tell because the huge wheels on the contraption The Torture Master was driving were showering those of us in the first few barrels with a fine, gritty layer of terra firma. “So that’s what I’d look like with a tan,” I thought as I looked down at my darkening arms. As our dusty hair blew in the wind and we tried not to breathe, I thought I glimpsed some large oranges lying in a field – oh wait, those were pumpkins! Too late to get a closer look, though…they were already far behind us.

After what felt like hours (but was, in reality, probably less than five minutes), we came to a fork in the road. Finally, we were going to head back! But wait, oh…no! He turned left instead, away from where we started! I gripped the sides of the barrel, white-knuckled; steeling myself for more jolts; closing my eyes against the dust; feeling a new kinship with the tin cans people tie onto the backs of newlyweds’ cars.

If you had been watching as we raced by, you would have thought that my sister and I were having a good time…we were even laughing! But it was more a laughter of bewilderment, of shock, of “We paid good money for THIS?!” – it was not a laughter of enjoyment, I can tell you that!

Finally, we rounded the last corner and the cow train screeched to a halt back at starting position. As we unbuckled and shakily stepped out of the barrels, trying unsuccessfully to wipe the dust from our hair and clothing, I had to suppress the urge to shout out a warning to the people waiting in line for the next ride: “Spare yourselves the agony and get away while you still can!” But I kept silent as I glanced at The Torture Master, who was busy accepting people’s dollars and strapping them into the plastic cows. I think I heard him give a sinister little laugh under his breath.

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I didn’t get any “after” pictures, but just imagine something like this:

If you're happy and you know it...

I just love this picture I took in Jerusalem when we were there last year...it always makes me smile!

Time flies, I guess...

It must be 2026 already...that's the only explanation I can think of for the letter I received in the mail today, which reads, in part:

Dear Sarah,

Our records show that you haven't yet registered for the benefits of AARP membership, even though you are fully eligible.

...As a member, you'll have the resources and information you need to get the most out of life over 50.

The letter went on to tout the benefits of belonging to the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons): Exclusive discounts. Dependable insurance programs and investment resources. Important health-related information. And so much more.

Hmmm...and I have a hard time convincing people I'm 30! I don't think it would go over so well if I flashed an AARP membership card for discounts when eating out or shopping!

Not that getting older is a bad thing...there's just no need to rush it!

A few funny pics...

We stopped at a little store to have some of the "best ice cream in Israel" (it WAS yummy) and they had these funny cow statues everywhere. That's the moon in the distance!





























Mud! :-) (That's my bro Nate on the far left and Andrew on the far right!)















Doesn't this camel look like he's cheesing for the camera? :-)















In our Jerusalem hotel room. Ironic, isn't it?

For fun...